oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
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