I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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