I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I need a hoe opinion
go on
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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