does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
