I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I am naked and annoyed.
Randomize
