Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
