she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Randomize
