that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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