All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
