dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
