one two three fourrrrnication!
someone owes me an orgasm
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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