if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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