I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
i am craving dick and cupcakes
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
