they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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