ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
