i don't like sucking hair
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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