your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
At least make sure they are 18
Why
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
