your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
