Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
operation have a gay friend backfired
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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