Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
