Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
