plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
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I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize