I'm really into asian looking animals
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
