i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
