it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
