remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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