true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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