He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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