marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
