Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
he just fucked me for my cheese.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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