Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
