Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
