Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
why do cheetos always look like penises
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
