Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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