So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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