I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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