She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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