just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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