the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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