When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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