you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
