so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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