I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
