I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
