did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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