sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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