i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Let's paint friendship bongs
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
