Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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