Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I need a hoe opinion
go on
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
