GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Vodka?
Forever.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
