My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize