its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
