: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
