Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Every concussion has its silver lining
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
be right there i have to get my cape
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize
