Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Can I color on your dick again?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
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