Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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