I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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