How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
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