You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
