3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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