she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Randomize
