Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
