Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
