thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
