I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
