If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
